How a dog changed my life

They say a part of your soul remains unawakened till you experience the love of an animal. I lost a little piece of my heart on August 10th 2013, when my friend, companion, and baby passed away. Lenny came into my life when I was in 11th standard, a tiny, white, fluffy little thing. Over 15 years she became a part of the most important moments in my life, college, first love, heart breaks, first job, marriage, having a child – she’s always been there, walking around, sitting near the door, sleeping under the sofa, standing in the balcony – every bit of my life, and every corner of the house is filled with her. But the thing about having a dog is you kind of know right from the start, that your time with them is short. So when she turned 15, this June, I was mentally prepared. Or so I thought. 3 weeks ago when she was diagnosed with cancer, stopped eating, was on IV fluids almost every day, and soon lost the use of her front legs– I was devastated. There was nothing that could be done. She was suffering, with no food going in, and her inability to move, the vet told me the humane thing to do would be to put her to sleep. I had read about it, heard about it, but never thought I would have to make that decision. But I knew in my heart, that’s what Lenny wanted. I could see it in her eyes. Asking me, pleading me to help, to do something – on August 10th, 11 am she was to be euthanized. The night before, I slept on the floor with her, saying my good byes, telling her how much I loved her, and how hard it was for me to let her go – at 7 am she passed away on her own, of a stroke. It seemed even in her pain, she thought about us, and saved us the heart-ache of putting her to sleep. After that it felt like life had stopped. The house was a constant reminder – her favorite spot under the sofa, how she would wait outside the kitchen for her morning Marie biscuit, her sniffing at the door whenever someone rang the bell, I expected her to come running when I came home from work. Even now I can almost feel how it was to hold her, the touch and smell of her fur, her wet nose. That’s what dogs do. In their time with us – they become so much a part of our lives, just like kids. It’s no different. And as much as the last month has been a nightmare, combined with the pain of losing her – I would go through it a million times over. Why? Because the joy and love she brought into my life, that’s something I would never trade. Dogs can teach you stuff you should know, but have probably forgotten, in the madness of everyday. They help you remember the simpler times. Here’s what Lenny taught me: • Love doesn’t change – rain or shine –she would come to me her tail wagging, even when she was sick, and could hardly get up • Even the worst days can be made better - just pat your dog, and give them a hug, you’ll get a million wet kisses in return and double the happiness • She showed me how to be patient – ever taught a dog a trick? Well mine knew how to “shake hands” and “jump” but would never “come” when I called her! • She taught me persistence – even in her sick days, when she was unable walk, she would try to constantly to get up. Every time I think of quitting, I just think about her, and push ahead • She taught me that words don’t matter – dogs can tell you a million things just by looking at you joy, pain, sadness – it’s all there • She taught me how to adjust – Lenny was 8yrs old when my daughter was born, and used to being the center of attention – she wouldn’t give up her place on the sofa – but gracefully accepted all the weird toddler behavior! • She taught me to enjoy the simpler things in life – dogs don’t worry. They take each day as it comes. So whether it was her morning biscuit, or her Sunday feast, tearing up bits of paper for no reason, or sticking her head out of the car window – she found happiness in the small things. • She taught me that goodness in all its purity still exists – dogs don’t have ulterior motives, they don’t expect anything from you, just your love, attention, and food and water. You get way more in return. • More than anything she taught me that it’s ok to be yourself, no matter what others expect from you – Lenny never knew how to fetch a ball. She would keep it to herself, munching it, and never give it back! She was a loner for the most part and liked to be left alone sometimes, in her little corner. I loved that about her. She never tried too hard to please me or anyone. She did her own thing. There’s a lot more I could write about her. But atleast I can finally talk about her, think about her, and not be consumed with guilt, and grief. Because now all I remember are the good times. The 15 years of pure, unadulterated love, joy. And somewhere down the road, I want that feeling again. The feeling only a dog can bring into your life. Maybe, someday, I will be ready to awaken my soul once more.