Hope for tomorrow

The birth of a child signifies the start of the something new. It is if you think really hard about it a symbol of hope, a promise, and a chance. Why? Because every human being is born as a blank slate – it is the people and the environment around them, who do the writing, at least in the early, most impressionable years. So ask yourself - why does a child who sees no wrong, go on to commit some of the most heinous crimes as an adult or teenager? It is not a blame game. It is not about absolving criminals, they need to be punished. It is a relevant question. It is an attempt to understand the cause, before we start looking for the right cure.

Below are what I think could be some of the biggest influences on this blank slate, and what each one of us can do in these roles that will help rewrite the future of the country, and the world.

Parents: Are we there for our children? Do we instill in them a sense of self-worth and confidence? Do we love them and cherish them? Do we teach them (without preaching) about being a good human being? Do we raise them so they can make the right choices on their own? Do we know when to intervene, and when to let our children be? Can we pick up on signals that our child maybe troubled? Mothers – do you teach your son to respect women, do you treat women with respect, what do you think about yourself as a woman? Fathers – sons look to you as their role model- but are you the right one?

Teachers: Do you undermine a child’s ability or do instill a sense of confidence in them? Do you understand them as people, and not just another seat in the classroom?

Friends: We have the freedom to choose who we are friends with. But again here as parents do we know who our child talks to everyday, who does he/she share their biggest secrets with? Friends are the biggest influence on your son/daughter aside from you, so make the effort to know and understand them too.

Education system: Are we talking to children at the right age about the right issues? Are we teaching them about human rights? Being a good citizen, not just a good student? Is quality education reaching all sections of society?

Media/Entertainment: As film makers are you making movies that portray women merely as objects? Is that piece of violence making your movie any better? Actors and actresses – are you all about the pay check or bringing back the art to cinema? Are you forgetting that movies are not just about entertainment, but a powerful tool to pass on relevant messages?

Nobody is born with an agenda. It’s a sum of what they see, hear, learn and experience every day. From the very second we are born, dependent on the people and environment around us, to the time we become individuals, capable of making our own decisions and choices, a lot happens, and in its own way, it shapes us. So if you think about it, every birth is an opportunity for us as parents and as society to create a good human being, and a responsible citizen. Let’s not bring a child into the world, which cannot be raised with the right amount of love and attention. It is nothing but the destruction of hope.

The idea of a woman

Last week couple of young college students from CRY come over asking for donations for the education of a girl child. They come to our home to discuss this. But of course they want to talk to the man of the household- the one who probably has the control over money, the maximum power to make decisions. So I sit there and listen as my husband tells them that he already donates to CRY regularly (which he does!), they look a bit disappointed, they want a cheque right away before the new year. All the while I am sitting right there! They haven’t looked at me once. I ask them if they would like a donation from me – I gave them a cheque for Rs 6000, that I hope will go to good use, helping the girl child, who will one day grow into a WOMAN, who is educated, and can in the future go on to change the definition of the word “woman”.


I am writing this because – this is the state of our society. It is this “idea” of who a woman is, what her role, her place in society is– that is the cause of the crimes against the woman. It is strange that we have all these NGO’s fighting for the rights of the girl child and yet it is not about the girl child. It is about human rights, why is she any different? The day we redefine what it means to be a woman will be the day we will finally be able to safely step out alone with whoever we choose, at any time in the day/night, wearing whatever we want. It’s not going to be easy, this fight against the “false” idea of the woman. We need to put our gloves back on.