Letting Go....

It’s the inevitable moment of truth for any parent. It gives you a sense of accomplishment, a sense of pride and strangely enough a sense of sadness. It’s what kids do, and it’s called growing up. From the time they enter your arms at the hospital, to the first words, the first step – they let go at so many points, and it seems they let go so quickly!

I know I’ve felt the most confusing things, the need to laugh, cry, smile, and scream at so many points in the last 5 years. But the emotion that unravels around you when you know they slowly but surely no longer need you, is overwhelming. I felt that a few days ago, fleetingly but deeply. She wanted to sleep in her room on her own. It seemed like a breakthrough initially! But for me the moment of happiness was short lived. There she lay in her room looking like she was asleep, hugging her doll for comfort, not me. Peaceful. Every minute, was a walk down the hall to check if she would wake up, and come running back. Was she feeling cold? Maybe the night light was too bright? Should we leave a light on in the hall way incase she got scared? What if she woke up and forgot where she was? 5 minutes nothing, turned into, 10 minutes not a noise, turned into 15 minutes and she stayed where she was.

I lay in bed thinking, almost crying. It’s that sickening feeling, I know I’ll probably feel many times in the coming years. They are moments of incredible happiness that proves there’s no greater and more challenging job on the planet than bringing up a kid. It’s the time they can eat on their own, take a bath on their own, sleep on their own, read on their own, ride the cycle on their own, and go to school on their own, cross the road on their own. It's what they'll do later like drive on their own, live on their own, make decisions and mistakes on their own. Eventually you realize that each one of these is a sign of them growing up and that you may soon be out of a job. It’s a sign that as much as you‘re not in a hurry for them to grow up, that they are. It’s the fight within you, to make them independent, successful, and confident, but still want them to come back to you. And I just realized that they probably will. Because, as a parent, a dad, a mom you really don’t have the option to retire.

20 minutes later she was standing outside our door. Somewhere inside, I felt happy, and then incredibly stupid for feeling happy. But then I didn’t want her to go back. So we slept through the night, her chubby little hands wrapped around me. Even if it was for a few more days, it felt like having my little baby girl back. So I held tight.

I will let her go eventually, when we’re both ready.

The Incredible Game

I only write when something inspires me to write. Something incredibly inspirational happened on 2nd April 2011. India lifted the world cup after 28 years. Wow what a game. I was just 3 years old and when India under Kapil Dev won the world cup and am positive I did not understand what the fuss was all about. Fair enough to say that I do a little now though. Disclaimer before any one starts reading: Indian fans are the best, they bring more energy to the game than any other country!.This is just my opinion, on how I think we should be watching the game. My rambling here is also inspired by photos of the Sri Lankan team being greeted back home with cheers after the World Cup Finals. No taking away Jayawardane's super performace. This is what got me thinking about cricket and how we view it here in India. I have never really been an avid cricket watcher, I learnt about it from my dad, watched my first real world cup in 1996. Since then I watch a few matches now and then, hate the IPL (traditionalist at heart, am still for a full 50 over match sans the cheerleaders – what happened to cricket being a gentleman’s game?). Still a fan of the Chennai Super Kings though and am slowly warming up to the concept. I think I am also one of the few Indians for whom cricket was and is just a sport, it’s about good teams giving their best, and has very little to do with emotions and more to do with enjoying the game. Isn’t that what sport is about? Or have we Indians made cricket a religion? Sachin Tendulkar is God? I have never quite understood this equation. To me religion is nothing but faith, faith and belief in some sort of higher power that gives us more confidence makes us go through the day just a little bit easier. When we go through tough times, we fall back on this religion, do we lose faith? Do we give it up? Then I have just one question to ask - why do we give up on the Indian Team? I am asking this question because I know a lot of people didn’t believe India would win against Australia, thought at some point Pakistan had the upper hand in the semi finals, and a LOT of them were second guessing our chances against Sri Lanka. How many of us got a little uncomfortable when Sri Lanka made 274? How many of us thought India would not be able to chase this so called mammoth target? How many of us actually thought Malinga and Murali were enough to bull doze the Indian batting line up? How many of us at 31-2 thought the curtains had closed? We lost our God? These are thoughts that come into every Indian fan’s mind. And it’s not wrong, but terribly unfair to the team. What if India had lost? What about the credit to them for having reached the finals? Would we have greeted them with a garland of shoes, thrown stones into their houses? Or greeted them like winners should be greeted? We cheer them during their success and then look for heads to roll if something goes wrong. We place them on pedestals and are the first ones to pull them down if they fail. Lucky for the Indian team this time, they didn’t. And no it is not because we prayed; it’s only because they played fantastically as a team. It’s time they got the credit. I am a huge fan of the Indian Team, and was overjoyed when they won. More importantly I enjoyed every minute of the game. Because that’s what it is at the end of the day.